Left Handed Genius

This is a story to prove how much of a blond I can be sometimes.

So listen. You’ve seen the little tag line to our blog right?

A blog by two lefties.

So you can pretty easily assume that my Hubs and I are both left handed.

We also happen to be the only lefties in our families. Our whole families: siblings, parents, cousins, grand parents, second cousins removed, etc.

We found each other and the world is better for it. Our children will hate us.

Anyways. Back to the story.

I believe I was sevenish? Ma, am I right?

And I remember we were in Texas right? Or was it Florida? We moved a lot as you may know.

We didn’t grow up in the lap of luxury and my parents did a great job improvising.

This “ornament” says it all.

As you can tell it was a key chain and it says: “Left Handed Genius”

I’m sure when my parents bought this they thought, “How great this describes our little blond bundle of joy!”

Dad said something like, “She’s so smart, because she’s left handed, and one word to describe it would be….hmm…”

Mom would reply, with conviction, “Genius!”

Dad would say “She’ll love this and life will go on as usual.”

Mom would agree with, “It so describes our littlest lady, even though she is the odd one out with her being left handed and all, but she’ll love it.”

And they would think I would open the gift, enjoy it, place it on the tree and Santa’s gift would be well received until next year.

But alas, it was not to be so.

Unfortunately this story takes a turn for the ironic.

Christmas Eve came and Santa brought the ornaments early as usual. Sweet big sister opened her ornament and all rejoiced at how perfect it was. Big brother opened his and everyone had a good chuckle and loved it.  Little brother was still a baby so who cares what he thought, he probably just chewed on his.  And I opened mine. Oh how I opened mine.

So when you’re seven you’re just learning to read right? So there shouldn’t be much of a story here other than a sweet little blondy reading her new gift and everyone congradulating her on her great vocabulary.

But this is what happened.

I read: “Weft, weft…I mean left…ha ha handed…genius.”

“Sure,” you say, “nothing exciting about that.”

But see, the way I said genius, and the way it’s spelled is very different.

I said it like geeenus. Like geese. You know? not G-KNEE-OUS. But GEE-KNEE-OUS.

And it wouldn’t have been sooo terrible (or should I say memorable?) if I didn’t have a big brother who made it his mission in life to make my life difficult. (I, of course, was a perfect angel and always the victim…never incited anything…ever…)

Instead I received mockery, torment and ridicule all the days of my life.

And now when the family is together, every-single-year, everyone asks, “Hey remember that ornament that you have that you couldn’t read?”

So you see, there is nothing genius about it. I couldn’t read, I’m left handed, and blonde.

Basically this ornament is a completely ironic display of how incompetent I was.

Now I’m a complete smarty pants.

Merry Christmas.

Lovies

ps. I got a call from my grandmother about story #3. She never wants me to use that word again. What word you may ask? haha..hehe..hoho…oh my.