It’s hard to type with one finger indisposed. It’s what I get for going on vacation. Something had to taint it like cutting my ring finger right above the knuckle. I walked in to open the store a few days ago and realized so much was amiss, the ice machine wasn’t producing (it was suppose to be 80 that day, so there was a major problem there), the floor was flooding and the sinks were full of dirty dishes and old dish water (full of all the dishes that were essential for my opening the store). I knew that I would have my work cut out for me so I got started a bit earlier than I normally do since I get to work a good 20 minutes before it’s time to really begin opening processes due to a ridiculous public transportation schedule.

Anyway, I went to call our facilities office to see when they could send someone out to deal with the issues at hand and how quick they could get there when I dropped the phone. Instead of just letting it go and grabbing it after it fell, I reached for it again and slashed my hand. There was a ceramic cup, whose handle had broken and was facing right where the phone fell. As I grabbed at the phone my finger sliced along a jagged edge where the handle had been and cut deep, real deep. I was 100 % sure I’d have to go to the emergency room. Which would just make this day that much more entertaining. Thankfully my store is full of people who love me and take care of me.

Our first customer is always the first bus driver for our streets route. She’s loud, black/African American (I always forget what’s politically correct in this  country) a little big and always happy. She always comes in saying “Hey ladies, girl I am tayad this morning, girl. I done got the worst sleep and you know sleep is implant. Girl can I have a Venti cup a’ ice and a bagel? Thank you Girl, God bless you darlin’ Have a nice day girl!”.

This day she came in and fixed me on up with a band-aid she kept with her since the CTA doesn’t provide their drivers with any type of First Aid Kit. She told me to hold it in place and not let anything get into it until I could get to the doctor. She said a little blessing for me and left.

A little later the regular, Nancy (but she goes by Nan) came in and asked me all about it. She’s the one who gave me the tickets to the House of Blues a couple weeks ago while Naph was gone because her daughter and son-in-law were playing there. She asked all sorts of questions, got her beverage and left. She then came back about 30 minutes later after having gone to Walgreens to grab all the essentials for a first aid kit/ sutcher kit. She took me to the bathroom and cleaned me up real good. She feels like my mom sometimes. She’s so loving and giving. She reminds me why I love to be in Chicago.

Today an ER surgeon who is a regular of mine probed to find our if I really needed to worry about getting stitches…since he’s a doctor and all it was good to get his opinion. All the girls at work call him McHotty like on Grey’s Anatomy. He’s alight, but no Naphtali Marshall. Anyway, he gave me confidence in that I didn’t need to go incur any more bills by going to get stitches as long as I keep it clean and changed the bandages a couple times a day.

Which leads me to why I’m worried about keeping it clean and why I’m on an Amtrak train. I have been trying for over a week to figure out my vacation plans. I had them all worked out and then the proverbial “…..hit the fan” (I’d say the word but my mom reads this and talking about my ovaries flipping is just about as much as she can handle her daughter saying in public). There were some major scheduling conflicts and it was looking like I was going to have to cancel my trip…after I had already bought the tickets. But finally it worked out Tuesday night, at the last minute per say. Naph and I were going to give until Wed to decide if I was actually giving up on going on a vacation. I was feeling super defeated. Life has been a bit overwhelming, not to mention my best friend and hubs has been gone for about a month and I miss him and his physical and emotional support on my hard days. But I guess I have hard days when he’s gone so it’s kind of a vicious circle.

Anyways. It finally worked out because a girl I work with who has two kids, is giving up sleep in order to come in and help start up the store the morning after she closes! She is an amazing woman! I have been so excited for this trip I just have been itching to be on this train.

I finally made it. I thought that I was going to be late for a second but luckily my little legs got me to the station and my train is the least packed of all the ones leaving today. I haven’t taken the train since I transferred to be with Hubs at college. I used to take it down all the time, practically twice a month to see him. I remember coveting the drives and enjoying the chance to see stars. Now it’s hard for me to leave the big city and remember what our life has just been like in these cornfields for four years. it was a very dry spell for us in many ways. But this train ride as reminded me of why I do love, and will always cherish the things about small town life. There is family sitting in front of me, a little girl of about 11, her dad, and his parents who came up to the city for a day to take the little girl to a Cubs game. They were proud in the sport and the fun of traveling on a train for such an adventure. Her grandparents looked pleased in being able to spoil her on such a perfect day.

Our trian was stopped for a good 20 minutes while waiting for some others to pass by and all of a sudden the grandparents, father and some other older gentlemen all gathered and started talking about life, work, places they’d been, how things had been changing, how young they were when their daddy’s took them to a Cubs game. It was like rolling back into a movie.

Sometimes in the city I’m reminded how even in this one middle American state of Illinois there is so much history mingled with so much modern and futuristic. The city is so hip and jive, but retains its happiness and friendliness of small towns, still small towns have held onto their trust in humankind and ease of conversation with passersby that can never been dominated. It’s admirable and beautiful and makes it hard for me to take all at the same time. I’m at a cross roads in life right now where I’m told ti’s time to thing about me. what do I want, where do I want to go and who do I want to be? do I have a supporting spouse who will let me follow these things? will we be OK if I do pursue something I want to do with my whole heart for once? Life is an adventure. Right now It’s in the more perilous straights. It’s topsy turvy, it’s reciting the verse :BE ANXIOUS FOR NOTHING, IN ALL THINGS TRUST THE LORD: and recognizing that as truth.

My train is arriving any minute now, my brain will turn off, I will see my hubs and my people and my friends and my family and I will cry a little because I’m so very thankful to be with people who matter to me, who make my world continue day by day, and I’m so excited to be with people who live grace continually and outwardly. I need that right now. I need a little hope and this vacation is meant for just that. God is so good to me that in my trivial humbug moments, he still cares and still provides. He is my hope.

Lovies.